Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
