Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
