Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
