He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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