How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
