i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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