you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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