i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
