She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
