are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
