when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
