My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
