I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
