He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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