She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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