try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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