maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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