I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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