I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
