We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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