problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize