Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
