you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My balls are so social today.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
