Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
