his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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