Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
