Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
