Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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