so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
