youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
