I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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