We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
