I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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