Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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