Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
