i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
