It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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