when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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