are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
