Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
