On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
