We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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