In the future we'll all be gay
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
