I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
