the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
