The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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