Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
