I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
