Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
