yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
