I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
and she was petting her beer can
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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