i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
